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  How to Date a Demon

  by Rose Pressey

  How to Date a Demon

  Copyright © 2012 by Rose Pressey

  Praise for Me and My Ghoulfriends by Rose Pressey

  “Rose Pressey spins a delightful tale with misfits and romance that makes me cheer loudly.”

  Coffee Time Romance

  “Her characters are alive and full of quick witted charm and will make you laugh. The plot twists keep you turning the pages non-stop.”

  ParaNormalRomance

  “I absolutely loved this book! It had me chuckling from the beginning.”

  Fallen Angel Reviews

  More books by Rose Pressey:

  Me and My Ghoulfriends (Larue Donavan Series, Book 1)

  Ghouls Night Out (Larue Donavan Series, Book 2)

  The Ghoul Next Door (Larue Donavan Series, Book 3)

  How to Date a Werewolf (Rylie Cruz Series, Book 1)

  How to Date a Vampire (Rylie Cruz Series, Book 2)

  How to Date a Demon (Rylie Cruz Series, Book 3)

  No Shoes, No Shirt, No Spells (Mystic Café Series, Book 1)

  Pies and Potions (Mystic Café Series, Book 2)

  Untitled (Mystic Café Series, Book 3)—Coming soon

  Rock ‘n’ Roll is Undead (Veronica Mason Series, Book 1)

  Spells, Demons, and Rock ‘n’ Roll (Veronica Mason Series, Book 2)

  Flip That Haunted House (Haunted Renovation Mystery Series, Book 1)

  The Haunted Fixer-Upper (Haunted Renovation Mystery Series, Book 2)

  Murder at Honeysuckle Hotel (A Trash-to-Treasure Crafting Mystery, Book 1)

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form, (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, incidents, places, and brands are the product of the author’s imagination and not to be construed as real. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Dedication

  To my grandmother, Annie, who didn’t get to read nearly as many books as she should have. Thank you for passing down your love of books to me.

  Acknowledgements

  To my son, who brings me joy every single day. To my mother, who introduced me to the love of books. To my husband, who encourages me and always has faith in me. A huge thank you to my editor, Eleanor Boyd. And to the readers who make writing fun.

  Chapter One

  How to Date a Demon, Rule #1

  Never tell them to go to hell.

  “You’re lousy in bed,” Jennifer screamed out the living room window.

  She spun around so quickly that she almost lost her balance and tumbled to the floor. Her eyes were wide and glazed over as she searched for an object to toss at Stephen. Jennifer’s face was almost the same shade of deep red as her dress. I jumped from my seat on the sofa and rushed over just as she scooped up my new mystery paperback from the shelf next to her.

  “No, don’t do it!” I reached for the book, but not fast enough.

  Jennifer lifted her arm and flung the book out the window. Damn. And I was only a few chapters away from knowing who murdered Mr. Holiday. Now I’d have to retrieve the book, or buy another copy. I’d probably rather buy a new one than have to embarrass myself by picking that one up from the street. Did she really think she’d hit Stephen from the second floor of our building? My best friend Jennifer Matthews had never been the athletic type, anyway. People still talked about her striking out at that slow pitch softball game in high school.

  “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to throw things at policemen.” I grabbed her arm and lowered it to her side.

  She let out a screech that made my ears ring. “It’s over.” She slammed the window shut.

  “I gathered as much when you told the entire French Quarter that he was terrible in the sack.” I took her by the shoulder and steered her to the sofa. “Sit down. I’ll get a couple glasses of wine and you can tell me what happened.”

  “I’ll tell you what happened. Stephen’s a pig. He’s married.” She plopped down, grabbed the pillow and hugged it to her chest.

  I stopped in my tracks, then spun around. “He’s what? Did you just say married?”

  Her face was still the color of blood as she nodded. “Yes, married. As in ‘do you take this woman’? As in ‘will you love her, comfort and keep her, and forsaking all others, remain true to her as long as you both shall live’? He lied to me all this time.”

  Wow, she really had those wedding vows memorized. I walked over and plopped down on the sofa next to her. “Honey, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. How’d you find out?” I brushed back a blonde curl from her shoulder.

  “His wife showed up at the restaurant tonight, just as I had stuffed a piece of ravioli in my mouth. I thought she was going to whack me over the head with the garlic loaf. Stephen claims they’re getting a divorce. But I don’t care even if he is. He lied to me.” She wiped away a tear with the back of her hand. “The night had been so perfect up until that point. Good wine. Great conversation... and then this happened.” She buried her face in her hands.

  “Bastard.” I wrapped my arm around her and squeezed her shoulders. “I’d love to get my hands on him. I’d love to shove that wine bottle up—”

  Jennifer let out a loud sob.

  Guilt settled in my stomach like a huge block of concrete. I was the reason she’d met him in the first place. He’d been an investigator on the case when I was harassed by ex-clients of my matchmaking service, Get a Mate—who knew dating could be so dangerous. He’d also helped when my boyfriend Jack Chandler was kidnapped and turned into a living vampire, resulting in Stephen being turned into a full-fledged vampire. Yeah, welcome to mi vida loca.

  She sniffled.

  “What did his wife do?” I asked delicately.

  “She started yelling at me in the middle of the restaurant. Everyone was staring. I was so embarrassed.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Nothing. I thought the coward was going to run out of there and leave me to deal with his wife.”

  “The bastard,” I said under my breath.

  “She said I was the reason he’d been acting so strange lately. I felt like such a homewrecker. I’ll never be able to set foot in that restaurant again.”

  “I doubt you have anything to do with his behavior.” I handed her a tissue.

  Technically, I was the one responsible for his weird behavior. Stephen Peters was now a full-fledged vampire thanks to me. He’d been turned while fighting off the vampires who’d attacked my boyfriend. But that was no excuse for his actions against Jennifer. Stephen wasn’t such a nice guy after all. I hoped his wife didn’t track me down though. The last thing I needed was another nutcase stalking me around town.

  Jennifer rubbed her nose with the tissue. “Well, I guess I did have something to do with it. He was dating me while married, for heaven’s sake. That’s a bit of a personality changer.”

  “I’m sorry, Jennifer. All of this is my fault.” I couldn’t stand the elephant in the room. Jennifer knew it was my fault. She was just too nice to admit it.

  She dabbed away another tear. “How is it your fault that he’s married?”

  “If it weren’t for my crazy clients coming after me, he wouldn’t have come here asking questions. You would have never met him.”

  “Rylie, don’t be silly. You didn’t tell me to start dating the guy. I was j
ust confused over Todd, anyway. I should have never gone from one boyfriend to another. I needed time to myself, but Stephen dazzled me with his sexy eyes and amazing… well, never mind that part.”

  I was thankful she didn’t sure that information.

  “You’re not exactly the by yourself type, honey. You like being in relationships.”

  She sniffed again. “I do like being in a relationship.” She nodded. “But I don’t think I’ll ever meet Mr. Right.”

  I chuckled and she glared at me. Then I laughed harder, holding my stomach. “I’m sorry.” I snorted. “But I can’t believe you yelled out the window like that.” I giggled.

  She smiled, then laughed. “It was funny, huh?”

  “Oh, yeah, it was funny. The look on his face when you threw that book.”

  “Do you think he’ll arrest me?” She wiped the tears from her cheeks.

  “He’d better not even think of it,” I said.

  She sighed and stood. “I’m going to bed.”

  “Things will be better in the morning. I promise. They always are.”

  She nodded, but continued walking.

  I watched as Jennifer kicked off her shoes, then, with shoulders slumped, trudged down the hall toward her bedroom. What kind of guy kissed a woman when he was visiting her home on official business anyway? Stephen Peters had showed up to question me regarding the investigation; I had left for two minutes and returned to find him all over my best friend. From that point on, they had been an item.

  Granted, Jennifer had kissed him back, but she had been vulnerable at the time. Okay, she still was, but that was neither here nor there. She’d been trapped in a bad relationship. Her luck with guys was almost as bad as mine, although she didn’t have a curse from an old witch hanging over her head.

  No. Really. Literally, I had a curse placed on me. Years ago, a gypsy decided to curse my family. The first daughter born to each man in the Cruz family would be destined never to find true love. I’d struggled to get rid of the hex ever since puberty. Finally, I thought the curse was gone for good.

  The room fell silent. The quiet was nice though. After what I’d been through in the past few months, any moments with vampires, werewolves or other creatures not busting my door down was a welcome reprieve. I never knew how long silence would last. With my crazy life, I expected just about anything.

  Chapter Two

  How to Date a Demon, Rule #2

  Never comment on the mood swings.

  I moved over to the window to see if Stephen had retracted the fangs and run—with his new vampire status, I didn’t put any strange behavior past him—or if he’d called in for backup. Poor Stephen hadn’t had an easy time with the vampire transformation. He’d run around for a week trying to suck on everyone’s neck. Trust me, strangers did not like this. I didn’t think Stephen’s boss appreciated the extra attention he’d received either. Things had really turned disastrous when Stephen had tried to break into that blood bank. Now that I knew what a jerk he was, I didn’t feel as sorry for him.

  The streetlight blanketed the area in a soft yellow glow, giving me a clear view of the area. No sign of Stephen, but on the sidewalk stood Lily Friedman, flipping through the pages of my discarded book. Her ginger-colored hair looked even brighter under the light. She was a former client who had become unhappy with my matchmaking skills when her date hadn’t been interested in happily-ever-after with her. The werewolf I’d fixed her up with had been interested in me instead. So much so that he’d tried to kill me.

  Her gold signature necklace glinted around her neck. She never left home without that chain around her neck with her current love interest’s name emblazoned across it. The gold letters with the name “Phil” glistened under the light. Lily was one of the ex-clients who’d given me such a hard time. She blamed me for a failed relationship. Just because I ran a matchmaker service didn’t mean every match would be a perfect one.

  After a couple seconds, she stuffed the paperback under her arm, flipped her auburn hair with her free hand and waltzed back toward her new fiancé’s apartment—Phil, the creepiest neighbor I’d ever had, by the way. I still hadn’t figured out what type of paranormal creature he was. Although people considered him human if seen walking down the street, I knew he wasn’t. Nothing that vile could be human.

  Lily and Phil were the perfect couple. I’d missed my mark when I hadn’t fixed those two up right away. I expected to see a little Lily and Phil any month. The thought made my stomach hurt. The worst part was I’d been suckered into being Lily’s maid of honor at her upcoming wedding. I really needed to learn how to say no. I could only imagine what kind of hideous dress she’d stick me in.

  Lily disappeared into the apartment as I stood studying the surroundings. My apartment was in the middle of the French Quarter and I saw all the action. Most of the time, it was more than I wanted to see, but tonight all was quiet after Jennifer’s scene—almost eerily silent. I couldn’t believe Stephen had left so easily, but I was glad that he had. Police or not, I wouldn’t let him harm my friend. He’d played with her heart enough.

  As I stared out the window, a knock sounded against the front door. I jumped and clutched my chest. My nerves were in a constant state of edginess as of late. Things had settled down somewhat, but as usual, I waited for the paranormal ball to drop. I moved away from the window and leaned my back against the wall.

  I wasn’t expecting anyone and somehow I doubted it was a Jehovah’s Witness or Girl Scout. Jack was out with some of his new vampire buddies, so I wasn’t looking for him either. A big lifestyle change for him, but he was adjusting. When I’d met Jack, he had been just a shy psychiatrist. Maybe that sounded nerdy, but he was far from it.

  My uncle Ernie had caused a lot of problems for me recently, but he had returned the vampire leader’s valuables, so I expected the vampires to leave us alone now. Had Uncle Ernie done something else? I hoped not. He’d gone on a vacation to Fort Lauderdale. He said he liked the way the moon shone on the water. It added to the werewolf experience, he said. Whatever… as long as he was out of my hair.

  I needed a weapon. Sure, my teeth and claws were weapons, but I really didn’t want to get all furry tonight. My heart rate increased as I moved toward the door. The last thing I needed was a fight.

  As I stepped to the side, my back met with the fireplace mantel. I looked down, spotted the poker and grabbed it. The cold metal in my hand made the adrenaline pump through my veins even harder. The dirtbag at my door would get a whack to the balls if he tried any funny business. I held the poker high above my head, then eased over to the door and leaned in close. I took in a deep breath, then released it, steadying myself for a fight.

  “Who’s there?” I demanded in my best badass voice.

  “Open up. It’s your favorite vampire.”

  Maybe it was my imagination, but Jack seemed bolder since becoming a paranormal. In the past, he’d had a shy quality. Not that I cared, it was just different and took getting used to. Maybe the difference was from hanging out with his new friends. Heck, perhaps his new vampire status really gave him the character boost.

  I unlocked the door and opened it. “What are you doing here?” I lowered the poker.

  Jack stood in front of me, looking as gorgeous as ever. His blond tousled hair made me want to reach out and run my fingers through it right there. I’d have loved to mess it up even more. He wore a crisp white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his muscular forearms, and khaki pants that stretched across his thighs perfectly. His blue eyes sparkled under the hall light.

  “Is that any way to greet me?” He grinned and looked at the poker still clutched in my hand.

  “I thought you might be an intruder.” I propped the iron stick against the wall. Jack, of all people, knew I had to keep my guard up at all times.

  “Looks like I almost got whacked with that.”

  A tingle spread through me the moment he smiled. Perfect white teeth and dimples were a lethal comb
ination as far as I was concerned. Jack lived across the hall from me, which made it easy to make unannounced visits. But I wasn’t complaining. What girl would complain with a piece of yummy like him standing in front of her?

  Jack and I had only recently taken our relationship to the next level. I’d been surprised when he stuck with me after I got him turned into a vampire. That could be a real relationship killer. It sucked—pun intended. He’d been fighting off vampires for me when one sank his fangs into Jack’s neck. At first he had been what they called a ‘living vampire.’ He was kind of stuck in between the human world and vampire world. But after another battle, he had been turned into a full-fledged vampire. See, I was constantly getting him into trouble.

  We were an odd couple, to say the least. A werewolf and a vampire—a match made in heaven? At least we knew what we wanted for dinner on our dates—meat, meat, and more meat. His always rare, of course. We’d just gotten over the hurdle of Jack accepting my werewolf status, then the living dead fiasco hit.

  “I’m sorry.” I smiled. “I just thought you’d be out late.”

  “I’d rather see you, so I left early.” He flashed his wide grin again. “A bunch of guys sitting around watching sports while chugging cheap blood or spending time with my gorgeous girlfriend. Not a tough decision.”

  “And they didn’t give you a hard time about that decision?” I quirked an eyebrow.

  “Doesn’t matter.” He reached forward and grabbed me by the waist, then scooped me up and deposited me into the hall. He closed my apartment door with one fluid motion.

  “What are you doing?” I giggled.

  Typically, I wasn’t the giggling type, but he brought that out in me.

  “Kidnapping you.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  I looked down at my pink sweatpants and white T-shirt. Not the best outfit for a romantic rendezvous. Jack grabbed me again and carried me toward his front door.