How to Date a Mermaid Read online

  “I really don’t know much about the mermaid life,” I said. “Maybe you could tell me a little bit about it?”

  “Like what did you want to know?” she asked, glancing over at me again.

  “Well, what goes on down there under the water? I mean, do you have like places you hang out or things you do?”

  “Not so much places we hang out. It’s not like we have towns down there. We just swim and enjoy the scenery. It rejuvenates us.”

  “Oh, I see. You go in the water for energy and stuff.”

  “Exactly. It’s kind of like what you get from the moon, I guess.”

  I shook my head. “I understand. That makes sense. I was kind of ignorant about the whole mermaid thing.”

  “Well, now you know,” she said with a smile.

  “Being a mermaid sounds pretty cool. I wish I were a mermaid. All the pretty colors on your tail. It would be much better than all this hot hair I have.”

  She flashed me a sad little look as if she totally agreed with me.

  Shelby slowed down and pulled up alongside the curb. She shoved the car into park and then turned off the ignition. “Well, here we are.” She gestured.

  I peered over at the house. All I saw was the second story and the rooftop. A tall stucco wall surrounded the place. Palm trees and other lush greenery covered the space, making it somewhat secluded, even though it was right there in the middle of the action.

  “I guess I’ll just stay in the car,” Shelby said with her hands still gripping the steering wheel.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to wait on the sidewalk or something?” I asked.

  It sounded as if I was getting scared. And I supposed maybe I was a smidgen anxious, but as long as I was in werewolf form I would be okay… fingers crossed.

  “Nope. The car’s good,” she said. “So how are you going about doing the change?”

  “Well… it’s best if I remove my clothing. I know that sounds weird, but you know, this outfit is pretty nice. I just bought it and I don’t want to ruin it.”

  “You mean you’ll get naked?” Shelby whispered.

  “It would kind of look funny to see a werewolf in pink shorts and tank top jumping over a concrete wall, no?” I asked.

  “Maybe not as funny as seeing a woman strip off her clothes in the middle of the street,” Shelby said.

  I frowned. “That’s why I need a place to hide.”

  “What about the back of my car?” She grimaced as if she hoped I wouldn’t take her up on that offer.

  “Nope. Too small.”

  A look of relief fell over her face.

  Chapter 4

  “Okay, I need a place where I can shift that gives me plenty of space,” I said.

  Shelby looked around. “Maybe behind a tree?” She sounded as if she was really confused.

  “Not the most ideal place, but I have done it before.”

  Her eyes widened. I peered around to gauge the coverage I would get from one of the palm trees. Since they were kind of skinny on the trunk they didn’t offer much.

  “I suppose it will have to do.” I placed my hand on the door handle. “I’ll be right back. If you hear screaming or anything you might want to help me.”

  Her eyes were still wide.

  “Okay, never mind. That’s a bad idea. I’ll be fine,” I said with a wave of my hand.

  Shelby still didn’t speak as I got out of the car. I headed over to the nearest palm tree. Luckily it was the biggest around and would offer the most coverage. I hoped the police didn’t come by and see me doing this.

  Cowering behind the tree, I shimmied out of my shorts and pulled off my tank top. This was the really awkward part. Once out of my clothing, I concentrated on shifting. Hair prickled on my arms as my skin tingled. Warm heat ran through my body. I’d done this so many times now that it was really not a big deal to me. Within a minute, it was all finished.

  I peeked out from around the tree. No one seemed to pay attention to me, thank goodness. Other than Shelby, who kept glancing back over her shoulder from inside the car. My clothes were on the ground next to the tree and I hoped they were still there when I returned. The last thing I needed was for someone to take them.

  I should’ve asked Shelby to pick my clothing up for me, but once this was all over I wanted to run over to the tree, shift back as quickly as possible, and hurry into my clothing. It was probably better that I left the shorts and tank by the tree.

  After peering around one more time, I stepped out from behind the tree and headed down the sidewalk. I decided not to run because that would only draw more attention to myself. Most people would just think I was a massive-sized dog strolling down the sidewalk. Of course, there was always the worry that they would call animal control and I would be rounded up and taken to the pound.

  When I reached the gate, I looked up at the height. It was going to be tougher than I’d thought, but I wouldn’t turn back now. I’d have to give it a shot. I moved back a bit from the gate and on the count of three jumped. Unfortunately, I didn’t jump high enough, so I just fell to the ground in front of the gate. I groaned and peeked back at Shelby. She grimaced.

  I scrambled up and tried to retain my pride. It was okay. I had to give it another shot. I stepped back a couple feet and then rushed forward again. This time I made it to the top and leapt down to the other side. Once on my feet I scanned my surroundings to make sure that no one was around to shoo me away. Plus, I didn’t want to encounter a big dog.

  Like I told Shelby, I always came up with a plan at the last minute. My plan now was to go up to the house and see if I could hear anything. Maybe I could sneak into the house. What would they think if they saw a big wolf coming into the house? Yes, it was extremely dangerous. Maybe I wouldn’t do that part.

  I navigated around the perimeter of the lot and hoped that I’d hear something. I needed to see the mermaids doing something. What if the guy they wanted to get rid of was in there and they were getting ready to kill him? Would I be able to stop them and save the man? I was getting a little ahead of myself. I was watching way too many of those detective shows on TV.

  Moving closer to one of the side windows, I climbed into the sea oats for a better view inside the house. I placed my paws up onto the house, stretching to peek into the window. Even with my super hearing I realized it would be impossible to make out anything they said on the inside because of the sound from the nearby crashing waves as they hit the shore. Why couldn’t the water be calm right now? It looked like I was going to have to give up on this adventure and try something else.

  Climbing back out of the bush, I moved around the front of the house. Unfortunately, the mermaids were coming out the front door at the same time. They saw me right away and screamed as if they’d just seen a monster. Oh, wait. I was a monster as far as they were concerned. Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Chanel bags flew through the air.

  They scrambled back into the house faster than they could say ‘big ugly wolf.’ Of course, now I took off as well, loping toward that front gate. I had a feeling they were watching me from the front windows. I was running away as if I was scared of the werewolf too. Luckily, I was able to jump over the gate and get out of there. They would probably call animal control on me. I bet they didn’t see many wolves out here on the beach. Not to mention the heat right now. With this hair it was like wearing a fur coat in a sauna.

  Not glancing over at Shelby, I hurried back over to the palm tree to shift and get back into my clothing. The faster I got into the car so that we could get out of there the better off I’d be. I inhaled and released a deep breath. Calm breathing was part of how I changed back into human form. It wasn’t the only step in the process, but it was definitely the first. Thank goodness it was a quick process too. There had been times when I’d literally shifted back while on the run. That was a bit painful so it was much better if I stayed still and allowed nature to take over at a normal pace.

  Looking down at my arm, I watched as the hair
slowly faded. Little by little the hair disappeared on my left arm and then my right. I touched my face. Whew. Having a beard wasn’t a great look for me. Luckily, the hair had gone from my face too. I was just glad no one had seen me during the shift back. It was always troublesome thinking that I would have to explain myself. Thank goodness I was back in human form now.

  I fumbled through getting my clothing on and raced back over to the car. Whew. That was a close call. I opened the door and practically fell into the passenger seat.

  Shelby had a look of shock on her face. “What happened?”

  “It didn’t exactly go as planned,” I said breathlessly.

  “Well, I kind of guessed that much by the way you raced out of there. Did they catch you? What happened? I bet they were very scary. Did they have a gun? Oh, my gosh, I bet they tried to shoot you.”

  “Actually, they screamed when they saw me and ran back into the house. Of course, I ran too. I guess it just startled me when they screamed like that. They’re really loud. Anyway, we should probably get out of here before they call animal control. Although I suppose they wouldn’t know it’s me sitting here in this car now that I’m in human form again,” I said. “How could they know it’s me, right?”

  “Well, other than that security camera that I now see on the top of that wall.” Shelby pointed.

  I looked in the direction of her pointing finger. “Yes, that could be a problem. I just hope that the camera didn’t catch me behind that tree undressing.”

  Shelby started the car and pulled away from the house. “Do you think the video caught you? Well, you know…”

  I looked back in the mirror and saw no sign of the mermaids anywhere. They were probably still hiding out. “Naked?” I finished for her. “I certainly hope not. That would be a sight to see, wouldn’t it?” I was more worried about that than if they’d actually seen me shift from human to werewolf.

  “This is Miami. They probably wouldn’t be surprised by anything they see,” Shelby said.

  “We need to just forget about this right now. We have work to do,” I said, trying to be the responsible business owner.

  I wasn’t sure exactly what had come over me today, but I was compelled to figure out if the mermaids were involved in any shady activities. I was just a concerned citizen, I supposed. Or nosy, as my mother, father, Jennifer, Lily, and a few others would say.

  “Perhaps we should go to the office location now,” Shelby said with a smile.

  “That sounds like a good idea.” I leaned my back against the leather seat.

  Maybe that would take my mind off the crazy notion I had of catching the mermaids in some nefarious scheme. Though now I had another idea. I’d get to the location that I’d picked out for the office and then I would call the police.

  Shelby and I made it back to the location. The small brick building was tucked away on a side street. There were three office spaces all together and I’d rented the middle spot. Inside the office there was one small window on the front wall. Lots of windows would have been better, but it was all I could afford.

  The room allowed for two desks and a few chairs, so I figured that was all the space that I needed. Sure, it lacked the charm of my office back in New Orleans, but what it lacked in charm was made up for by the close proximity to the beach. That would certainly make it nice for Shelby for when she wanted to take a dip in the ocean.

  I figured that I could eventually spruce up the boring space by adding some fun art work and colorful furniture. Right now, the space was rather boring with the blank gray walls and coordinating gray carpet. I liked having décor that would make my customers feel happy. Finding dates for happy people was much easier than matchmaking for crappy people. Lily Friedman for example.

  I couldn’t concentrate on talking about the place because I wanted to call the police. I dialed the non-emergency number because I wasn’t sure if this was a life-threatening situation. Maybe a man’s life was at stake, but I couldn’t say for sure.

  I watched out the tiny window waiting for the police to arrive. What was taking them so long? I suppose this wasn’t an emergency. Even still, I wanted to speak with them so that maybe I could get this off my chest. But maybe the cops weren’t coming at all. The thought had barely left my mind when the police cruiser pulled up in front of my office.

  I released a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness they’re here.”

  “They actually showed up?” Shelby asked in surprise.

  The police officer sat there in the car for a bit. Why wasn’t he getting out? This was making my anxiety spike all over again. Another minute went by before the officer got out of the car and ambled toward the office. He looked around as if this was a leisurely day at the beach. I knew this wasn’t an emergency, but I wished he would pick up the pace a bit.

  I rushed over to the door and opened it. The officer placed his hand on his gun.

  I held my hands up. “I’m sorry if I startled you. I was the one who placed the call.”

  He took his hand off his gun. “You shouldn’t scare the police like that.”

  “Yes, I suppose I should be a tad calmer,” I said.

  The officer looked over his shoulder at Shelby. Her eyes were as wide as beach balls. She held her hands up too.

  “You can both take your hands down now,” he said.

  Shelby and I lowered our arms. I released a deep breath.

  “What seems to be the problem? Do you mind if I come in?” He motioned.

  Now he seemed as if he was suspicious of us. Since we had done nothing wrong he had no need to be skeptical of us. I guessed he was just following procedure though. I turned and motioned for Shelby to go back inside. The officer followed us.

  Once inside he looked around the tiny space. “Okay, now tell me what’s wrong.”

  Now I had to explain the problem. This wouldn’t be easy. The whole story rushed from my lips.

  “Mermaids want to kill someone?” The cop furrowed his brow.

  I left out the part about me being a werewolf because that wasn’t necessary. All I told him was that I overheard the women wanting to do something to a man.

  After giving the annoyed police officer the address, he said, “I’ll check it out.” I hoped he really did go to the mermaid’s place, but it didn’t sound as if the officer was convinced I wasn’t one peanut short of a Snickers bar. Now it was out of my hands though and I felt a little better knowing that this might be resolved.

  Once the police officer left, Shelby dropped me off back at the hotel. I’d see her again in the morning and we’d get back to business.

  “How was your day?” Jack asked when I stepped into the hotel room.

  “Kind of uneventful,” I said around a smile.

  Jack moved over to me and embraced me with a hug. My eyelids fluttered shut as he pressed his mouth against mine. His luscious lips licked, sucked, and teased mine. I growled softly as he moved his lips away. Oops.

  “I’ve been thinking about kissing you since you left.” Hunger flashed in his eyes.

  I’d decided not to tell him about jumping over that wall and scaring the mermaids. He already thought I was nuts enough. Jack led me toward the bed. This was starting to get good. The television played the local news in the background. As Jack reached for the remote to switch it off I caught sight of the video surveillance. It was me in werewolf form loping down the sidewalk. Jack stared at the TV.

  The newscaster was reporting it as a wolf on the loose by the beach. They even interviewed the mermaids talking about being terrified when they saw me. They also described how ugly I was. I didn’t think I was all that ugly. I had nice shiny fur and gorgeous yellow glowing eyes. I grabbed the remote from his hand and tried to turn off the TV. It was too late though. Jack had already seen the story.

  I laughed nervously. “Funny story.”

  Of course, he knew it was a crazy story if I was involved. He also knew it was me in that video. He’d seen me in werewolf form. Just as I was about to exp
lain a knock sounded at the door.

  “I’ll get that,” I said as I jumped up from the bed and raced across the room.

  Anything to delay having to explain what happened. When I opened the door, Jennifer had a funny look on her face.

  “I guess you saw the news too,” I said.

  She grimaced. “What in the world are you doing?”

  I motioned for her to come on in. “I’ll explain to you both at the same time.”

  I explained what had happened. They looked a little confused.

  “But like I said, I called the police, and everything will be fine now. So we can just drop it.”

  “That’s probably for the best,” Jack said.

  “I’ll just change my clothes and then we’ll be ready for dinner,” I said.

  “I’ll meet you all downstairs,” Jennifer said, shaking her head.

  Were they really surprised at what I’d done? What was the big deal? At least we’d have a pleasant dinner. And we wouldn’t discuss the matter of me scaring the mermaids.

  Chapter 5

  The next morning, I arrived at the office location. Shelby was waiting for me there.

  “I saw the news last night.” She took a sip of her coffee.

  I cringed. “Yes, it was on the news, but I think everything is all over now. The police are on it and I’ll never have to go back there again.”

  “Thank goodness,” she said.

  I opened the office door and we stepped inside. It was a small space, but it was nice. It would be just enough for the new business.

  “I forgot to ask yesterday. How do you like the place?” I asked. “Do you think you’ll be happy here?”

  “Oh, I know I’ll love it. It’s close to the water and I can take a dip during breaks. It’ll be perfect.”

  Loud talking caught our attention. It was coming from outside. I stepped over to the small window and looked between the slats of the blinds.

  Quickly I shut them. “Oh, my gosh.”

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “The mermaids are outside.”