How to Date a Werewolf Read online

  “Your father always wanted one.”

  “I always wanted a pony, that doesn’t mean I need one.”

  “Everything will be fine, Ry. Don’t fret too much. Worrying causes wrinkles.”

  “To hear you tell it, everything causes wrinkles. Remember when I was sixteen and you tried to convince me sex caused wrinkles?”

  “Don’t be sassy.”

  “Apparently that hearsay isn’t true. I’ve met a few people who would look like raisins if it were. Of course I’m not naming names.” I laughed.

  She stifled a giggle.

  “Both of you are worse than teenagers, you know? You’re driving me insane.”

  “Sweetie, I think you’ve been working too hard. I’m serious about the wrinkles. You let the least little thing bother you. Whatcha need is a vacation. Oh, I know. Come by for a massage. I bought a fabulous new table.”

  If she only knew the half of it. I wouldn’t mention my visit from the burly dude who rearranged my door. No need to worry her.

  “Oh, I need a vacation, all right. The fact of the matter is: I can’t take one. This business can’t run itself. Plus I have to keep an eye on my batty parents.”

  “I’m going to ignore your nasty comment.” She paused a moment. “So how is business?”

  I couldn’t tell her a jilted client might ruin everything I’d worked for in the blink of an eye. Her money was at stake. I didn’t want her to think I was a failure.

  “Fine.” My attempt at being cheery didn’t sound convincing.

  She hesitated, then said, “I’ll see you next Friday at the party, er, meeting. And don’t be late. You know how they hate tardiness.”

  “Yeah, I’ll see you. Hopefully not in a full-body cast due to a motorcycle crash, though. Oh, and before I let you go, I want to talk to you Friday about the curse.”

  She paused again. Her steady breathing drifted across the line. Finally, she responded, “What about the curse? I’ve told you everything I remember. There’s really nothing left to say.”

  “I know, but I wanted to ask a few more questions, that’s all.”

  “All right, dear. Whatever you want, but like I said, I’ve told you everything I recall.”

  “Thanks, Mama. I’ll talk to you later. And please be careful.”

  “Tootles,” she chimed.

  “Yeah, yeah. Tootles to you too.” I clicked the off button, shaking my head in amazement. Why didn’t I have normal parents? A mom and dad who played golf all day and harassed me about getting married, or giving them grandchildren. They were, indubitably, not interested in my dateless life. I guess with the curse and all, they knew not to expect reproduction and family life to happen for me. Their one ray of hope lay in my brother’s hands. Well...maybe not his hands. Accidents do happen, and with his behavior, it was a distinct possibility.

  Setting down the receiver, my gaze wandered to the mysterious parcel. Why Lily hadn’t put her name on the return address was beyond me--it was obvious the package came from her. She loved drama like supermodels loved diet pills. In order to put her out of my mind and place the whole mess behind me, I decided to open the box. Self-control was not one of my strong points. I prayed a bomb wouldn’t explode the minute I tore into the darn thing.

  Rummaging through the top desk drawer, I dug out the letter opener. With one large sweep, I sliced through the tape, then pulled back the top. Pink tissue paper popped up like a perfect birthday present. Only it wasn’t my birthday. The shininess appealed to my eyes, and I couldn’t help but place my hands on the glossy, colorful tissue. I eased the paper from the box and began unwrapping. It was so light it seemed empty. When I finally reached the bottom, I saw it: a shiny silver bullet positioned in the middle of the pink tissue.

  A warning--she wanted me aware the slug would be used on my body. A pathetic attempt at scaring me. Would Lily’s behavior worsen as the full moon approached? All werewolves became feistier during that period, and she was no exception. But how much more unscrupulous would she become? I threw the scare tactic back in the box, then chucked the whole thing in the wastebasket. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

  With my client meeting still thirty minutes away, I busied myself with paperwork. Checks needed to be written, client files organized, and other mindless details. I took advantage of the few minutes of peace and quiet to take care of them.

  My office was in the middle of the oldest neighborhood in New Orleans, the French Quarter. Surrounded by such beautiful architecture on a daily basis reminded me how lucky I was. The building was 170 years old and had one of those cute iron balconies on the second floor overlooking the street. Of course during Mardi Gras my parents commandeered said balcony with about twenty of their werewolf friends. I skedaddled out of town during the celebration. Craziness ensued during the merriment and I didn’t want any part of their festivities. It was like the pack meetings times ten.

  As I scribbled in the account ledger, a rap on the doorframe echoed across the room. My pen scratched across the paper when I jumped. Damn. I needed to call the handyman and get the door back up.

  “Hi. You must be Anna Primeaux? Please come in.” I stood and gestured for her to enter.

  “Hello.” Anna nodded while studying her black Mary Jane’s. She looked up at the busted door.

  Was it too much to ask for everyone to ignore the minor flaw?

  “Please take a seat.”

  Anna sidled over to the leather chair placed in front of my desk and slid down. She looked like a cat ready to run at the first sign of a canine.

  “I’m so happy you decided to go with Get a Mate.”

  She didn’t comment, but a slight smile twisted her mouth.

  “Can I offer you something to drink?”

  She shook her head. She couldn’t say I hadn’t tried to be hospitable.

  “I have a few forms for you to fill out, then we’ll get started. I won’t take up much of your time, I promise.” I reached for the newly created file and handed it to her. She flinched and lowered her gaze to the papers. No wonder she couldn’t find a date. She seemed so bashful that a guy probably couldn’t get near her. Tapping my fingernails on my desk, I contemplated whether I’d ever find a mate for timid Anna.

  She filled out the forms, the steady rasp from her breathing and the pen scrawling across the paper as she scribbled away filling the silence. She must suffer from asthma or something.

  “I think I’m all finished,” she whispered.

  When I took the papers, her eyes widened. She stared over my shoulder. I held my breath for a second, almost afraid to turn around. What was she was gawking at?

  I took in a deep breath, then turned my head to the window. I wished I hadn’t. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled to attention. A sign bobbed up and down past the window.

  I watched in dismay as Lily paced back and forth. In one swift movement, I lifted the window to tell Lily to take a hike. Big mistake. Her rant peppered with expletives reserved specifically for me wafted through the office.

  I shoved the window down before my customer heard the next colorful phrase Lily had carefully chosen to describe me. Lily’s attacks were relentless. Worst of all, she harassed me in front of a customer.

  “Do you need to speak with her?” Anna asked meekly. What a time for her to decide to get chatty.

  “No, no. I’m not sure what that’s about, but it’s nothing to worry about.” Again I had lied--how terrible was I?

  “It looks as if everything is in order.” I said, scanning her forms and ignoring the scene outside.

  “Okay,” she mumbled while she continued watching over my shoulder.

  “I’ll call you soon and let you know how things are going. I’ll find you a date in no time. And thanks again for choosing Get a Mate.” The words rushed out as I stood and ushered her to the door. All the while, I swayed my upper body back and forth, blocking Anna’s ringside view.

  “Thank you,” she whispered as she strained to look over my shoulder.
Let it go, woman. Nothing more to see.

  After she’d exited, I ran back to the window and pulled down the shades. Suppressing a growl, I breathed in deeply. Did Lily have nothing better to do with her time?

  Several hours passed. I sat, tapping my pen on the desk, and watched while the handyman hung the new door. He eased the hinges into alignment, then popped the screws into place.

  “Do you want me to install an extra lock for you, Rylie? It’ll only take a second.”

  “Sure, Joe. Why not? It can’t hurt, right?”

  “Nope. It pays to be safe.”

  He could say that again. I had no idea when the rogue might return looking for Uncle Ernie. The thought of the thug showing up at my parents’ house ran through my mind and I shuddered. My dad kept a baseball bat as his weapon of choice in the hall closet. Tough guy would break the bat over his knee like a used toothpick. Then Dad would want to use his werewolf skills and sink his teeth into the guy’s neck, which Mama never liked. Another reason I didn’t tell my mother. Dad would have shifted and hunted the lowlife down. No, the best thing to do was to let sleeping werewolves lie. Ernie needed to deal with his affairs and leave me out of it.

  “I’m all done here. Both locks work as smooth as a baby’s bottom. I don’t suppose you’ll tell me how it came down in the first place? I know a tornado didn’t come through, so don’t give me that excuse.”

  I shook my head. “Nope, I won’t tell.”

  Joe flashed me a sad-eyed look and then turned to grab his tool belt from the floor. He paused, turned to face me again and said, “I was wondering...”

  Uh-oh. I knew what he was about to say. I’d heard the words from his mouth before.

  “I know you said last time you were really swamped with work. I thought I’d ask if things had slowed down any and if possibly you’d like to go out to dinner with me some night?” He fidgeted as he ran his hand through his dark hair. He then shoved his hands in his pants pockets, probably because he didn’t know where else to put them.

  I hated to turn him down, but zero chemistry existed between us. Joe was a handsome guy, but we had nothing in common. He likes wrestling. I don’t. He enjoys skydiving, and no way would I ever try jumping from a plane. The diverse list of our hobbies and likes never intersected. Not once.

  “I’m sorry, Joe, but I already made plans with someone else.” I frowned.

  “Oh. Oh. Well, all right. I’d better get going.”

  My stomach twisted into a knot when I saw the sad look in his eyes. He turned and walked out the door without as much as a glance back. Maybe I needed to find him a date. Then it hit me. I had someone for him. Anna, my newly acquired, shy customer, would be perfect. I made a mental note to work on their match-up. They’d be ideal for each other.

  I locked my new door and headed upstairs to prepare for my evening on the town. So much time had passed since I’d gone on a date, I’d forgotten the dating ritual to-do list. Besides the obvious shower and dress, of course.

  Would we have things to talk about? What if I sounded stupid?

  Jennifer would be more than happy to lend a hand in the picking-out-an-outfit department. She didn’t know I had a date with sexy-new-neighbor-guy yet. If I had told her earlier she would have nagged me about it all day. She would have wanted us to stop what we were doing and spend the day planning the evening--what to wear and say.

  When I entered my apartment, I expected to find Jennifer lounging on the sofa with her bunny slippers propped on the coffee table, but she was nowhere in sight.

  Instead of raiding the refrigerator as I normally would have done, I decided to search the dark caverns of my closet for something to wear. I wanted an outfit that would knock his socks off. Shuffling through the hangers provided zero prospects.

  As I continued poking around in my closet, the sound of voices came to me. I emerged with several blouses, flung them on the bed, then moved to the bedroom door and listened. The mumbled conversation wasn’t distinguishable. I eased out the bedroom door. As I moved down the hall, I recognized one of the voices, and curiosity gnawed at me. Who was Jennifer talking with? I pressed my ear against the door. A man’s laugh vibrated through the wood. I opened the door a crack.

  Jennifer stood next to Jack, engrossed in a heart-to-heart. She touched his arm and fluttered her eyelashes. Crap. My lipstick faded hours ago and, no doubt, I looked like hell. I only prayed he liked the natural look.

  Who was I kidding? My appearance went well beyond the natural look. I opened the door wider and cleared my throat. I had no idea what they were discussing, but I intended to find out. Both stood in the middle of the hall, still laughing.

  Finally, Jennifer stopped, and between snorts, said, “I just told Jack about the time you fell down the stairs and broke your nose. Remember that?” She snorted again.

  Um, yeah, I broke my nose, how could I forget?

  “You were more worried about your Gucci heels than your bloody face.” She turned her head, trying to conceal a giggle.

  Yay. My best friend was trying to help the Cruz curse along. Instead of getting to three dates, I wouldn’t get past the first one.

  Jennifer had adopted that doe-eyed look again. It seemed to come around only when Jack appeared. Good thing she had Todd or I’d have some serious competition. Wait a minute. She was having problems with Todd. Maybe I should worry. No, no. Jennifer was my friend. She wouldn’t do that.

  “Jack was telling me you two have a date tonight.” As usual, she sang the sentence.

  If I knew her, and I think I did, she probably wanted to sing Rylie has a boyfriend.

  I nodded. “Yes, as a matter-of-fact, we do.” I raised my eyebrows, code for shut up.

  “I need to change my clothes and I’ll be ready, if you are?” Jack asked.

  “I’ll be ready.” My stomach tingled and I shuffled my feet with uneasiness.

  “See you in a few.” Jack flashed his bright smile and turned to his apartment door.

  “Oh. My. God.” Jennifer almost knocked me down as she shut the door behind her. “What happened? When did he ask you out?” She grabbed my arm and whirled me around.

  I laughed. “You are such a goofball. He walked into my office and asked me out. That’s it.”

  “That’s it, you say? No. There’s more to it than that, but...whatever. I’m so excited. Are you excited?”

  “I’m thrilled.” I rolled my eyes.

  “What are you going to wear? Where are you going on the date?” She had more questions than a Trivial Pursuit game.

  “Breathe, Jennifer. Calm down.” You’d think she had a date with Jack the way she acted. “I don’t know what I’m wearing. I need your help picking out something. And I think we’ll go to Emilio’s for dinner.”

  “I’m getting something to drink and my bunny slippers and I’ll be right in. Now get in your bedroom and start rummaging through that sorry closet of yours. With your wardrobe, it’ll take us a while to find anything suitable.”

  “It’s not as if I dress like a homeless person. If you don’t simmer down, I’ll need a shot of tequila before I leave the house.”

  “I’m calm. Now go get ready for your date. I’m so excited.” She pushed on my back, prodding me down the hallway toward my bedroom.

  By the wistful appearance on Jennifer’s face, I wasn’t sure which one of us seemed more excited about an evening with the delicious Jack Chandler. I took off my work outfit and laid it on the chair next to the bed, then began sorting through my closet as instructed. After a few seconds, Jennifer returned with drink in hand.

  “My God, what are you wearing?” Jennifer stopped in her tracks as soon as she entered my room.

  “My underwear?”

  “No. No. No. Just, no. You’re hurting my eyes.” She screeched.

  “What is your problem? Do you mind if I finish dressing?”

  “You cannot, I repeat, cannot wear those granny drawers out with a man like Jack Chandler.” She frowned in disapproval.


  “What do you mean? What kind of woman do you think I am, anyway? He’s not seeing what’s underneath. Not this soon.”

  “Hey, he may not see them, but you’ll realize they’re there. Do you want the fact you’re wearing bloomers my grandmother would love nagging at your subconscious all night? Do you? I mean, he’ll be sitting there wondering what kind of lace number you’re wearing and you’ll know the answer isn’t lace at all, but in reality is one hundred percent pre-shrunk cotton with a wide waistband.”

  “Well...I guess I hadn’t thought about it.” At that moment, I felt a little self-conscious standing there in my bra and panties.

  “Gosh, Rylie. You of all people should know the rules of dating. Your career depends on it, for pity’s sake. Underwear is like number three on the list. Good thing this is a first date.” She shook her head, exasperated.

  Nope, there was no way I would ask what numbers one and two were. I didn’t want the answers. I knew how Jennifer’s brain worked and, trust me, if you knew her like I did, you wouldn’t want to know, either. Did Jennifer doubt my ability to do my job?

  Jennifer pulled all of my unmentionables from their drawer. Undies flew through the air.

  “What the hell? Are these leg warmers?” She frowned. “Never mind. Does any of your underwear coordinate? Please tell me somewhere in this mess something matches.”

  “Don’t be silly. Yes, of course. What about the pink ones with little bunnies? Right over there. See them?” I pointed to the spot. “You just threw them on the floor.”

  Another glare from Jennifer. “What are you? Four years old? That’s it. Tomorrow we hit Victoria’s Secret.”

  “So I got a package from Lily today.” I pulled a black blouse over my head.

  Jennifer stopped midair with a pair of my panties around her finger.

  “Give me those.” I yanked them from her hand. “Stop worrying about what I’m wearing underneath the outfit. Get your mind out of the gutter and help me with the outer layer. It’s what’s on the outside that counts.”

  She ignored my comment and said, “She sent you another package? What the hell is wrong with her? She is certifiable. You need to do something before the situation gets any more out of hand.”